"This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime."

Today.. I mourning again over you... People maybe doesnt understand why I'm so mouring about... We've been know each other only for a month.. but that really feels like a lifetime... The world just stop and roll over again.. again .. again... on those days of you and me....

Remember when I said that I knew I will be with you at the end? Somehow I knew it, I just feel it ever since I saw you for the first time... And Im end up with an understanding that all I’ve ever done in my life is making my way there to you.... be there on your last days in life... and knew that this kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime, no matter how many lifes you had..

I'm so grateful to spend those days, those conversation, those kisses and hugs, those love, those feeling that we had before... And Im mourning now because I just simply miss you... 

I love you my Libra...

Seharusnya

Aku pulang untukmu
Seperti janji yang kuucap sebelumnya

Seharusnya
Kau tak cepat pergi
Seperti yang kau ikrar padaku, padanya

Seharusnya
Kutak perlu menahan rindu ini
Karna ada kau jika kau tak pergi

Seharusnya
Jika harus ada yang pergi
Maka Akulah dia..

Karna jujur kumembatin
Bahwa Ku akan pergi
Dari kau dan dia yang sudah terjalin..
Jauh... sebelum kau pergi..


"Ayah, entah mengapa rasa kehilanganmu semakin besar.. Kau rayakan hari ini jugakah disana?"

Intersection..

I saw the movie last night... I have seen it few years ago actually... My Gosh... I think what happened to me is the same with Olivia Marshak... Baby... I Miss you....

Melukismu

Sayang...

Dalam terang suluh..

Aku coba melukismu...

Jelas kulihat bayangmu..

Di pelupuk mataku

Di depan mata hatiku...

Sayang...

lekuk senyummu..

hangat sinar matamu..

tegas tulang wajahmu

gurat ketampananmu..

Melayang indah di anganku...

Namun jari ini

Tak mampu menggores..

Pun menangkap pesonamu...

Eloknya dirimu..

Rapuhkan penaku ..

Biar Sang Kekal melukismu

Merajah pati hatiku

dengan lukisan wajahmu

Mimpi tentang kamu dan dia

Semalam kubermimpi tentangmu...

Kau ajak aku pergi... 

Menyusuri hari terakhirmu...

Berdua..

Kau ajak aku lihat

Tubuhmu terbaring lemah

Kulihat kau bernafas... menunggu...

Tak paham mengapa kuharus lihat ini...

kau berkata "Harusnya kita bertemu"

kujawab "Tapi kau tak mengamini"

Ujarmu  "Kau bilang yang terakhir kali "

kumenangis " Dan kau kabulkan itu"

Lalu kau ajak aku pergi...

Entah kemana...

Berdua... berdampingan...

dalam diam...

Aku bilang " Aku rindu kau "

Kau diam

Aku bilang " Kau minta aku menunggumu"

Kau diam

Aku bilang "Maafkan aku sebab..."

"Kubilang yang terakhir karna kutahu kau baik2 saja"

"Kubilang yang terakhir karna banyak hati kan terluka"

"Kubilang yang terakhir karna ini adalah karmaku"

"Kubilang yang terakhir karna hadirku adalah sakitmu"

Dan kau hanya menatapku...

Mengusap airmata ku...

Menggelengkan kepalamu

tak sepotong katapun terucap..

Lirih kubisikkan "Aku cinta kau"

tiba-tiba kau hilang

kucari kau

yang kutemu Puanmu...

dia berjalan disampingku...

Puanmu bilang "kita jenguk dia"

Kuhanya mengangguk

Puanmu berkata " Aku cinta dia.."

Dan kubilang "Dia pun mencintaimu.."

ada binar di matanya...

ku tak sanggup menatap mata itu...

tertunduk, kulanjutkan..

"Dia beruntung memilikimu"...

dan kuberhenti.. 

dan melangkah pergi darinya.

The Photo Album

I opened our photo album..

And I couldnt believe it..

That you were gone..

I meant forever...

I just still cant belive it..

Those pics just like taken few minutes ago...

I still hear our laugh...

I still feel your hands touching me...

I couldnt belive that..

It seems happen seconds ago...

So I throw this photo album out of my sight..

I shouldnt opened it...  Not now... Im still dreaming that you only go for a while...

Sayangku

I'm getting closer to you...

Wait for me...

Slow down...

Im comming home too... 

Miss you...

Ayah, kangen deh... Knp akhir2 ini aku ngerasa kamu ada di deketku ya...? Hmmm...

Aku inget terakhir kita bersama... that excellent night... Wondering what people thought when they saw us ya... Mungkin mereka bilang .. pasangan aneh... We walk along together sambil becanda dan tertawa2... Inget ga kamu mau make helm ke dalam gedung... Trus aku bilang.. jauh2 deh sana... eh kamu malah meluk aku.. hihihihihih... Remember we talk through the night under the moonlight, watching the wave, and enjoy the air... Inget kita saling takut menakuti... dan tertawa terbahak2 saat yg lainnya benar2 ketakutan?

We watch Little miss Sunshine... even we didnt watch the whole movie (too many interuption lol) but we loved that one? Inget kita membicarakan tentang masa depan... Inget ketika kita saling berpisah.. we hold each other...

I remember you called me only seconds away .... I remember all your moves... remember every single second we spent... I remember I deeply fall in to you... that touch.. those kisses.. those hugs... so unforgetable...

And now... I feel that you were around me... I see you everywhere... When I look at the full moon, when I stare at the sky... I see you... I see that gorgeous smile... AND I SO DAMN MISS YOU!!

Ayaaahh... biasanya aku akan berlari padamu saat aku merindukanmu... atau segera menelponmu jika cinta ini tak terbendung... Walau sekarang aku tak bisa melakukan itu lagi... Aku mau bilang bahwa aku sayang kamu.... Terima kasih sayang untuk kenangan yang indah... Temanku berkata bahwa aku sudah cukup mendapatkan banyak cinta darimu... sekarang saatnya untuk melangkah lagi....

Ayah... we suppose to be a great couple didnt we? We will someday... I knew that... I love you sweety....

Your Little miss Sunshine...

I want my life like yours

Moonlight... do you know that alot of people love you? I saw it .. even I feel it.. I want to have that such of life too... It was beautiful... 

So from now on.. I want everybody love me... Like I love them... I will spread this love to everybody near me... even my enemy..  So if one day I passed away (we'll be together again) they will shower me with wishes and love too...

Now I know why God planned these for me... So I could learn from you... and I did.. So thank you baby for shared the lessons with me.. For letting me know how to love people... 

I got enough love I knew... but I will stay hungry for it... I will keep this huge love and share it with others while continuing my Journey... 

Baby.. please guide me... and warn me if someday I forget about this...

I love you smelly muach Ayah....

Afternoon Gorgeous

Life is harder without you baby.. I have to face that... I wish you were here with me... 

Oh honey.... My only happiness is remembering you now... 

I miss you so...